First time I could say no by my wholeheartedly

One of my "used to be" good friends was having birthday party yesterday. I was actually thinking to attend her birthday party but I didnt go at last despite they already invited me earlier. It seems like I still couldnt act like as if nothing has happened in front of them. My limit is that we all can only remain as friends but no longer more than that. hmm, I find myself has forgiven them but not forget entirely. At least one of my principles, from the beginning since the first second of our first meet, I will invest 101% of trust for everybody i know. The rest is depending on how that person treasure it. If that person don't appreciate it and trying to break it into pieces, I wont be able to do the rest for you guys - the job of mending it and be as if nothing has happened. The life for being boycotted was seriously not fun, especially knowing you own clique trying to boycott you and you dont know a thing at all but being lied as if everything is fine. It's just disappointed. This is very clear to show me that how much you guys worth to me. and that is why, you should know why you don't deserve me as your friends. but thank you guys, for your different attitudes that teach me how to grow in such a situation though i already learnt that before. No matter what you would like to say about me, say i am not good enough , not sincere, didnt remember your birthday or what. I no longer care. I only care what I have promised myself and my parents. my own principle. oh ya! i think i even share the present with you guys eventhough i didnt go for that party. yawn..I guess I am something wrong~ but fine since my mom says is fine if i want to share.